so let's talk penis.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
