That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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