He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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