It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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