So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
