Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
