I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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