the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
