She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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