I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
