the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize