I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
