I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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