so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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