good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i drank out of a bidet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
