the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
