with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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