I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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