either way he was missing a nipple.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
