love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
