Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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