everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
