I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
