It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
