end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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