Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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