We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
