Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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