Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i don't like sucking hair
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
