If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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