dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
