he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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