They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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