And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
