I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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