i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
