someone get that fucking seahorse.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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