I just pynch a tree in the face
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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