I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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