According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
