It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
