Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
