I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize