Where is the hickey?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
