What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize