Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
