Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Randomize
