So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
