Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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