I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My balls are so social today.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
