the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize