Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
