They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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