Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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