It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
