WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
