im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it hurts more in the daytime
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize