Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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