well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
