Sponge bath it is.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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