Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
