a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize
