i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
